How do you know when to let go?

When you look back,

You see pain, shame and anger,

Why did you hold on so tight?

Almost like a rope cutting into your skin,

Those harsh words, those stinging remarks,

The self doubt, the self sabotage,

It began when you were just a child,

As you grew older, more bitter than ever,

Grief became like sugar,

You needed the sweetness to get through the day,

What happens to all the good you’ve done?

Does nobody notice?

What happens to all the work you put in?

Will you never be rewarded?

How do you know when to pick up the pieces and walk away?

The little pieces of you,

That eroded along the way,

Is there a book? Is there an app that can guide you?

Do the scriptures teach us how to let go of the reins?

That we hold on to for dear life,

It was when I opened my eyes every morning,

And a sense of dread and despair filled my body,

It was when every journey I took,

The sun shone brightly on me,

But I emitted gloom,

It was when I looked into the mirror,

I saw a shell of a person looking back at me,

It was when I watched a movie on death,

And scorned that the actors will never know what death feels like,

It was when everything came tumbling down on me all at once,

And I stood in the middle of the supermarket sobbing,

I learned to let go, I learned to let it pass,

I learned to walk away, I learnt to diminish my time with grief,

I prayed and hoped with all my heart,

That all of this,

Will help me heal.